Attachment styles and the roles they play in relationships is a wide spread topic of interest, both in research and in peoples’ personal drives to understand their patterns of thoughts and behaviors.
The different attachment styles in relationships can impact interpersonal interactions
A child’s bond with its primary caregivers has an overarching influence on its future social and intimate relationships–and even its relationships at work. In other words, this early bond creates a template or rules for how the child builds and interprets relationships as an adult.
the human desire is to seek contact, love, support, and comfort in others–the innate “need to belong” and how it is one of the main driving forces behind an individuals’ actions.
Yet, despite our need to belong, love and relationships are rarely as perfect and problem-free as we would like them to be, and many interpersonal problems can be traced back to the issues associated with our types of attachment styles
The four attachment styles
Based on attachment theory, 4 attachment styles were identified.
- Dismissive (also referred to as Avoidant)
- Anxious(fearful)
- Disorganized (also referred to as Fearful-Avoidant)
The above as a group form insecure attachment style
The fourth category is known as Secure type of attachment,
Let us first understand how attachment types develop in children.
In essence, how a primary caregiver (usually parents) acts towards and meets their child’s needs forms the foundations for how the child perceives and acts within close relationships.
This is because a child is dependent on its caregivers and seeks comfort, soothing, and support from them. If these caregivers offer a warm and caring environment, and are attuned to the child’s physical and emotional needs–even when these needs are not clearly expressed–the child becomes securely attached.
On the other hand, misattunement on behalf of caregivers towards their child’s physical and emotional needs is likely to lead to insecure attachment
caregiver misattunement may not be intentional, but the child still perceives them as not meeting its needs.
Attachment types develop early in life and often remain stable time. However, this does not mean that they cannot be changed into more secure forms of attachment–it just means that you may need to develop self-awareness through understanding and resolving attachment issues.
How Insecure Attachment Creates Negative Patterns in Relationships
Have you wondered why you keep ending up in the same maladaptive relationship situations, even with different partners? Perhaps jealousy and clinginess are frequent behaviors for you, or maybe you’re prone to withdrawing from a relationship once it becomes too emotionally intimate?
If you have noticed a pattern of negative and emotionally challenging behaviors in your love life, you might benefit from digging deep and exploring the way you attach to people in intimate relationships. Understanding what attachment styles are and the basics of attachment theory is an important factor in this process.
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